From Mother to Daughter
by heathergirl84
Summary: A letter was wrote from birth mother to daughter. This is the letter she wrote. And if you enjoy it, I'll continue.


_Life is far from simple. I'm barely 18; I'm pregnant and not sure who the father actually is. Simple flew out the window a long time ago actually. And someday, I'm sure you'll be reading the wondering how messed up your mother really was…._ I read the words letting my eyes linger on each for just a moment. My hand held the picture of the redhead who was in fact my mother. My biological mother. Apparently, she had left only this single piece of paper for me when she handed me to the people who would raise me. I sigh deeply as I look at the headstones in front of me. "Guess I should be happier that I got this. I just wish you could have told me." I say. "I haven't read the whole thing yet, but she sounds like a piece of work for sure." I trace the names of my mother and father on the head stones. 6 years today they had been gone. And yet I still hadn't read the letter in my hand from my biological mother. Slowly I set down and begin again to read the letter…..

_Dear Baby Girl,_

_I'm your mother. Your birth mother. My name is Rachel, and I'm a senior in high school. Well I was at least. My best friend is Brooke Davis, and yet it's been months since I spoke to her. I left town right after I found out I was pregnant. Not because I was ashamed, okay so partly because I was, but most because I didn't want to complicate another best friend's life. Mouth McFadden. He's possibly your father, although he's clueless. He was kinda drunk at the time, and I was kinda horny and well…. Wow, did I just say horny to my daughter? I hope you're old enough to be reading this! I screwed a lot of people over. Messed a lot of things up, which is why I'm so sure you'll be better off without me. But regardless I think I owe you the story._

_I came to Tree Hill beginning of senior year. Immediately I made my self at home with Brooke Davis's boyfriend. They were "nonexclusive" though so… Anyways, I ended up almost breaking them up. I tried to steal her cheerleading squad, but actually I was just trying my best to fit. I mean honestly. Then, I released the time capsule which caused a guy to bring a gun to school shoot a girl, a guy., and hold me and some "friends" hostage. Oh and he finally shot himself. Talk about screwed up right? See I'm not mother material. After that I kinda took advantage of a friend who was drunk. Oh but before this I managed to break up a wedding, put the grooms (my ex's) uncle in the hospital, spread a rumor that my best friend was pregnant, and well…… lets just say I've not been the best person._

_I left town intending to get an abortion, but when I went in and they had to listen to your heart beat, I just simply couldn't. I got up and walked out. Does that mean I'm chicken or that I actually do have a heart? I'm not sure. But here you are growing steadily inside of me, and I'm not sure what will happen. It's not that I don't love you; it's that I don't love myself. Even with the body I got after I lost all the weight I couldn't make myself feel better. If I hadn't cared I would have just aborted, and then I could be drinking vodka right know instead of water. There are just some things that I can't bring myself to do. And putting a child through the parenting tragedy that I would absolutely be would be cruel. I know you're going to have a better life. Mostly because I know that you would have a crappy life with me. I could have stayed and had all of Tree Hill feel bad for me, but I figured this was one battle I had to fight alone. _

_Life is far from simple. I'm barely 18; I'm pregnant and not sure who the father actually is. Simple flew out the window a long time ago actually. And someday, I'm sure you'll be reading the wondering how messed up your mother really was…. So there it is all my sins on paper. But at least I did have the presents of mind to actually find parents who would care. My parents basically just left me to take care of myself, but I talked to your parents. They promised they would love you always. They may not be able to give you everything you need, but trust me it's better this way. Money doesn't salve life's problems, in many cases it makes it worse. _

_I'm not really the motherly kind, I'm not sure what you are suppose to say in this situation. But I guess it's like this, only two people know how much I love you. That's you and me. I know you can feel it. I know that you know I love you. After all, you are inside me, so only you and me know. Only you and me share this body Baby Girl. And it was a honor to share it with you. I wish you only the best for the future, you'll be carried somewhere in my heart….._

_Love you,_

_Rachel Gatina._

I read this letter three times before finally understand it. It was her confession to me. Her confession to sins she had done, and her confession to her love to me. I asked myself often through the years if she loved me. This may not have been the most touching declaration of her love, but yet it was in fact a declaration. Fourteen letter would follow this one. Each one telling me little snips of her day to day life, each talking about the friends she had left behind, and the places she wanted to go. The third one talked mostly about the birth process, and how suddenly she was missing the feeling of me kicking her ribs. The final letter came with a picture attached, and the decliration that she would be a better person. And that if somehow I found it in my heart to find her, she would be waiting. I pull my laptop closer and stare at the address on the screen. 'Tree Hill, North Caroline' just as promised in that last letter she had made her way back to the place she had left. Her last name was now McFadden. Slowly I smile to myself. I couldn't just show up on her doorstep, but I could at least make the phone call…….

_Note: Okay so if you want me to continue and find out if she really calls and if Rachel ever told Mouth or whatever, then let me know. If I get reviews I'll keep this one going._


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